Wednesday, October 01, 2014

A Velvet Elvis Painting

Sami, cut the poor schmuck a break.  Per the Guy Manual, any guy would have lots of crazy things to say about drugged-priest/ho-bag sex. #DAYS
Paige, if you didn't want to be the one to tell JJ Kayla was raped and didn't know if he knew, why did you blurt it out? #DAYS
Abby thinks the room is "sweet." Sweet? If it had a velvet Elvis painting it'd be the Salem Brothel. #DAYS

Friday, September 26, 2014

It's Called Cheating

Rafe to Sonny: "It's called cheating." Funny, I think I heard Jordan say the same thing to Rafe. #DAYS
Abby says Sami and EJ getting back together isn't normal.  What in Salem is? #DAYS
The two sides of EJ: Tough crime boss with Clyde; PW'd family man at home. #DAYS
So Ben can't have "guests" where he lives. As if no guy has ever snuck a girl into a room before. #DAYS

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Bag Balm

Aiden tells Chase he's having lunch with Hope and that's all there is to it. Then his pants burst into flame. #DAYS
John wonders why he is in the hospital. The morgue rejected him because he was breathing. #DAYS
Clyde insists, "I clean up real nice." That's because people from Poplar Bluff shower with Bag Balm. #DAYS
Clyde tells Kate: "I'm prepared to go all in." I'm sure he is. I'll bet he's prepared to invest all his money, too. #DAYS

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Telegraphing Your Pitches

Caroline keeps pressing Hope for what she's there to say. Caroline is as dense as a San Francisco morning fog in a thermal inversion. #DAYS
EJ wonders how he was so lucky to attract Sami.  You dropped a towel. #DAYS
I keep waiting for John to tell Brady and Marlena: "Let's pick up where we left off... I hate you both." #DAYS
Stefano: "The best laid priests..." BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS
Theresa: "What if John wants to make someone else pay?" Kid, in baseball, what you are doing is called telegraphing your pitches. #DAYS
Notice EJ risked Sami's wrath AFTER they had sex. This is the standard protocol as set forth in the Guy Manual. #DAYS

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Accessory After The Fact

John wakes up... but will he ever be able to squint again... or do #SmellTheFart acting... or call someone "pal?" #DAYS
Daniel orders WiFi hooked up to John's vitals.  If the provider is Comcast, he'll die for sure. #DAYS
Eve says she's not going to be roped into being an accessory after the fact.  You already are one, Eve. #DAYS

Monday, September 22, 2014

No Firearms Involved

Why does a conversation between Theresa and Eric call for dripping faucet music? #DAYS
Theresa thinks there may be a God since John isn't waking up. Right, Theresa, and He wants to be your accomplice in murder. #DAYS
Sami... EJ... passion... desire... & right on cue Sami tells him to stop. For EJ "protection" would be duct tape for Sami's mouth. #DAYS
But in the end it was a red-letter day for Ejami fans as Sami and EJ got back into the bedroom... amazingly with no firearms involved. #DAYS

Friday, September 19, 2014

One Mistake

Jordan: "What is Jeremiah doing here?" Among other things, staring at your dress with the built-in push-up bra. #DAYS
Frankly, even in a tight job market my response to Chad would be "Bite me, find a new barkeeper." #DAYS
Kate: "Sami has no more originality than a dime store greeting card." Or a #DOOL writer? #DAYS
Kate rants about Sami's "one mistake." Yeah, "one mistake" practically everyone in Salem has made, first and foremost Kate. #DAYS

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