The Missionary Position

Sounds like Stephanie is writing a pretty risque book. I couldn't tell if Alex said the title was "One Stormy Night," "One Horny Night," or "One Porny night." I like all three. Maybe she should write a trilogy. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I don't want people to know I write this kind of tawdry book." Alex: "Why not? You live that kind of tawdry life." #DAYS

Alex: "This wild thing you wrote about on page 146… I've never tried that." Stephanie: "I've never tried it either." Alex: "What's it called?" Stephanie: "The missionary position." #DAYS

Chad and Cat are struggling to come up with what they should do for a platonic date. How about going to the library and reading Plato's biography? #DAYS

Chill, Brady, Kristen is trying to be nice. Give her a "thank you" romp and move on. #DAYS

Brady: "Rachael is not the easiest kid to get along with. Apple → Tree… you know the metaphor. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kate: "I fell in love with you because you were different from all the other men I ever met." Roman: "How was I different?" Kate: "You didn't pay me."

Kate says roman is different than every other man she has met. How was he different? No other man was axe-murdered on their wedding night. #DAYS

Good Behavior Is Its Own Punishment

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "There were legal ways you could have tried to claim your inheritance. Why did you do it with a forged letter?" Phillip: "Legal ways are for wimps." #DAYS

Chad and Cat get along pretty well for two people who are supposed to despise each other. #DAYS

EJ claims to be a more decent person since he came out of his coma. That doesn't necessarily say much about his character. #DAYS

EJ discovers that good behavior is its own punishment. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "It's not easy being Chief of Staph for a hospital that is in distress." Sarah: "It's not in as much distress as its patients." #DAYS

Virgin Birth

A pregnant girl at the prom. That wouldn't have happened back in the day at my high school. Of course, that was so long ago there was such a thing as a virgin birth. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: "Are you willing to give me access to your drug?" Jeffrey: "No. But I"m working with a group that wants me to. Big Pharma will do anything for money." #DAYS

EJ to Chanel: "What can I do to fix this?" You could talk to Johnny and convince him that your past has not been genetically transferred to him and that he is responsible for his own actions. #DAYS

Cat to Chad: "If I go on a date with EJ, what ulterior motive could he have?" Let's put it this way… he's not after your money. #DAYS

A Life of Cerlbacy

Sarah tells Xander he's not the one who did anything wrong. Of course he was gullible enough to let Phillip bamboozle him. #DAYS

Sarah to Xander: "You and Victoria are my world." Speaking of the world and Victoria, where in the world is Victoria?" #DAYS

The upcoming book about Johnny and Chanel is not going to end, "and they lived happily ever after." #DAYS

If Jack Devereaux is the cream of the crop in investigative reporting that explains why investigative reporting today has plopped right into the toilet. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "Are you accusing me of attempted murder? Leo: "Your boyfriend did the same thing." Gabi: "Which he will learn to regret… while he also learns to cope with a life of celibacy." #DAYS

Cat to Chad: "You and I are just friends." That's the opening line to wedding vows in Salem. #DAYS

Underneath It All

Usually Rafe isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but I happen to agree with him that Gabi spending $15,000 for a date with Alex is a bit excessive.  #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: We have a financial cushion." Johnny: "Right but maybe we shouldn't be keeping our money in a mattress." #DAYS

EJ claims he's a changed man. I think that means the nurse changed his diaper. #DAYS

Gabi leaves. Rafe grabs his computer. An hour later he's still trying to figure out how to turn it on. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "So you're saying underneath it all your toxic personality is kinder and gentler?" EJ: "Yes and underneath it all is what my toxic male personality wants from you."

Rafe and Jada break up. I'd have to say Rafe is the big loser in that one. #DAYS

Rafe tells Jada she might be right that it's time for them to take a break. She's hot talking about taking a break, Jughead. She's talking about a permanent split. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Can I talk to you about something?" Belle: "Of course… $500 an hour plus expenses." #DAYS

A whole flock of chickens come home to roost as Brady tells Gabi to suck it up and stick it out at DiMera. #DAYS

Jada's mourning period about her breakup with Rafe lasts about five seconds as she heads with Shawn back to his place. #DAYS

The Toilets Need Cleaning

Next on #DOOL — The Salem Hospital Fundraiser Committee sues Thomas and Charlotte's lemonade stand for unfair competition. #DAYS

Stephanie refuses to give Alex a "hall pass" to sleep with another woman. That doesn't mean much. They wouldn't do it in the hall anyway. #DAYS

Cat to Chad: "This was a great fundraiser. We really pulled it off." I'm guessing it won't be long before we see this couple pull something else off… their clothes. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "Why would you give Phillip the time of day?" Sarah: "He asked what time it was." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "Now that we know about the forgery, what are your plans for Phillip in the company?" Xander: "Well, the toilets need constant cleaning." #DAYS

Maggie bids $1,000,000 for a date with Chad. It's a long-shot, but I predict she will win the auction. #DAYS

A Pack of Trojans

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "I'd like to get an update on EJ." Kayla: "He's still as much of a vegetable as the giant 600 pound pumpkin that won the state fair contest last year." #DAYS

Belle to Phillip: "So just you and Vivian know about this secret?" In Salem, it's not a secret until half the town knows about it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kate: "I carry a gun for protection." Rex: "I carry a pack of Trojans." #DAYS

EJ opens his eyes. I'll bet we're headed for yet another case of amnesia. #DAYS

If you ask me there is more chemistry between Chad and Cat tham between EJ and Belle.  #DAYS

As far as I can see the only chemistry between Belle and EJ is a glob of KY jelly.

It's always a special episode when you get a "mean, mean, mean" from Susan. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "Johnny and I don't go to church. But we are God-fearing people." Mrs. Choi: "If you don't go to church you'd damn well better be God-fearing." #DAYS